In the NICUThe Family...yes there is a slit...Half Seminole Fans, half Razorback fans
Home and Healthy!

Wearing our "Big Boy" outfit
Showing off by holding that head up

The first step is always the hardest

If you have ever started running while being hopelessly out of shape then you know that the first step is always the hardest. The sudden impact of your weight on each and every joint and the nagging question of "why am I doing this?" But give it a couple weeks of solid commitment and things always start to look up, to get easier. I would have to say that the birth of my first child was the same way. The end of the pregnancy was like those first steps running...the toughest.

At about 17 weeks in I got a call from my doctor saying that some of my results from the quad screen test looked a bit off. After being assured this was very common and that most likely once the specialist checked everything out we would know for sure everything was okay, I hung up the phone. The next day at the specialist appointment we learned that there was a chance our baby BOY might have down syndrome. (The excitement of finding out the gender while the specialist did the in depth ultrasound was a little overshadowed by finding out at the same time that he might have down syndrome). We waited almost a week and then in the middle of teaching class I get a phone call from the doctor with the results of our amniocentesis...Down Syndrome. I cried...a lot...for the rest of the day and then decided it was time to get over it, get educated, and move on. Surrounded by the most supportive and encouraging husband, staff, and family that was committed to walking alongside me through this journey I knew it would be okay. Sure I still battled the typical "why us?" and "maybe our baby will surprise everyone and not really have down syndrome when he is born" thoughts mixed with a little jealousy over friends who were expecting perfectly normal babies but I also knew this was somehow going to be okay.

After adjusting to the idea of having a child with down syndrome we were handed the second big blow...fluid around the brain. In a follow up ultrasound the doctor saw fluid around the brain which was causing the ventricles in our babies head to be enlarged. Well...like most people when the doctor says "there is some excess fluid in the ventricles of the brain and they are slightly enlarged...we will continue to monitor it, " I had no idea what that really meant. Once home and in the middle of a google search the gravity of the situation hit me ...brain damage, surgery, fetal death...(why don't doctors give you a chance to google search the diagnosis they give you before sending you home?) This seemed too much to take on top of the down syndrome. The excitement of the pregnancy and our first child was now overshadowed by fear.

After several more weeks of doctors appointments, fetal MRI's, discussions of delivering early, etc. the fluid levels evened out and we were told to calm down and we would just continue to monitor it. At 36 weeks my doctor told me he wanted to induce by 39 weeks so we could make sure he was in the delivery room and that the necessary neonatologists, etc. were on hand for the delivery. Set to induce on September 1st, life continued. Our baby had his own plans though...after very irregular and light contractions on August 28th I woke up at 1:30am to not so mild and irregular contractions. Still about 9 minutes apart I tried to convince my husband we should wait awhile before going to the hospital. (Did I mention the baby turned breech at 38 weeks after being head down the whole pregnancy). My husband decided we better just go ahead and go to the hospital...and I'm very glad he insisted. We arrived at the hospital, checked in, I put on the gown and the nurse checked...4cm dilated. As she hooked me up to the monitors and got ready to start the IV, the contractions intensified. She checked again and in less than 15 minutes I had gone to 6cm. Still trying to get the IV in, the contractions continued to intensify and the next thing I know she is calling in a team of nurses and I am the full 9 cm and feeling an uncontrollable urge to push. I vaguely remember asking where the doctor was and being informed that he was not going to make it. A few pushes later our baby boy (no longer breech) was born.

The moment I held him in my arms I was so thankful that we had found out about the down syndrome in advance. The first time I saw my baby I instantly loved him and accepted everything about him. The thought that special moment could have been filled with the same fear and feelings I had experienced 20 weeks earlier breaks my heart. Things do happen for a reason!

Once Miles Landon made his arrival at 3:25 am on August 29 things started to look up. The fluid around his brain disappeared, heart looked pretty good, besides a little jaundice, he was checking out pretty healthy! Two days later as we packed to go home the pediatrician came to visit and informed us that Miles was having some breathing difficulty and they were admitting him to the NICU. Although it was heartbreaking to see our little guy hooked up to all those machines, not to mention scary to hear the alarms go off, we were comforted by the wonderful nurse who took care of Miles during his entire stay in the NICU. A week later, we were able to leave the hospital with our baby.

After his arrival things have been easy. Miles is a very content and happy baby and we have settled into life as a family of three. He has great muscle tone for any baby and has been ahead of the game in rolling over and holding his head up!

We know the journey ahead will have its tough times and trials but it will also have its sweet and rewarding moments. We are no longer scared but excited about the journey ahead and the little guy who will be walking (or running) alongside us on that journey.

Coco

Coco celebrating Luke's Birthday!!!

Coco chewing her five month birthday present.  She loves it.
I can still pick her up!

4 H Gala